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Official Book Club Selection

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Official Book Club Selection

A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin
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Official Book Club Selection is Kathy Griffin unplugged, uncensored, and unafraid to dish about what really happens on the road, away from the cameras, and at the star party after the show. (It’s...
Official Book Club Selection is Kathy Griffin unplugged, uncensored, and unafraid to dish about what really happens on the road, away from the cameras, and at the star party after the show. (It’s...
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Description-
  • Official Book Club Selection is Kathy Griffin unplugged, uncensored, and unafraid to dish about what really happens on the road, away from the cameras, and at the star party after the show. (It’s also her big chance to score that coveted book club endorsement she’s always wanted. Are you there, Oprah? It’s me, Kathy.)

    Kathy Griffin has won Emmys for her reality show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, been nominated for a Grammy, worked and walked every red carpet known to man, and rung in the New Year with Anderson Cooper. But the legions of fans who pack Kathy’s sold-out comedy shows have heard only part of her remarkable story. Writing with her trademark wit, the feisty comic settles a few old scores, celebrates the friends and mentors who helped her claw her way to the top, and shares insider gossip about celebrity behavior–the good, the bad, and the very ugly. She recounts the crazy ups and downs of her own career and introduces us to some of the supertalented people she encountered before they got famous (or, in some cases, after fame went to their heads). Word to the wise: If you’ve ever crossed Kathy Griffin at some point in your life, check the index for your name.

    Along the way, Kathy reveals intimate details about her life before and after she made the big time. She opens up about everything from growing up with a dysfunctional family in suburban Illinois to bombing as a young comedian in L.A., from her well-publicized plastic surgery disasters to her highly publicized divorce, and more. Only in this book will you learn how the dinner table is the best training ground for a career in stand-up, how speaking your mind can bite you on the ass and buy you a house, and which people in Kathy’s life have taught her the most valuable lessons–both inside and outside the entertainment industry.

    Refreshingly candid, unflinchingly honest, and full of hilarious “Did she really say that?” moments, Official Book Club Selection will make you laugh until you cry, or just puke up a little bit.


    From the Hardcover edition.
Excerpts-
  • From the book

    Chapter One



    THE LITTLEST GOSSIP GIRL

    Have you ever looked at the online photos of Britney's peesh?

    I probably shouldn't start my book with that question, but I just I can't get enough of those photos. I find it nearly impossible to turn away from an online snapshot of any celebrity's peesh. All right, Kath. Focus. This is the story of your life.

    Wait! Have you seen that TV commercial with Wynonna Judd where she hawks diet pills? Look, I don't mean to be rude, but maybe a gal with a big voice and a bigger . . . um . . . talent, shouldn't be hawking diet pills. Come on, you know those pills are just tiny donuts. Teeny, tiny powdered donuts.

    All right, that wasn't very nice. In fact, it was inappropriate, and nothing short of cheap gossip. But let's face it, that's why you bought this book. That's right, I'm bringing it: gays, women, and the occasional DL (down-low) husband. The pages you are about to read have a lot of gossip, but guess what? Most of it's about me. I'm going to try to make this book a recipe (shout out to Paula Deen!) of equal parts shit-talking about myself and others. Yeah, I go down pretty hard on myself in this book. Not as hard as Steve Martin does, or my drunken Irish Catholic relatives do, perhaps. But I've had some heartaches and bumpy passages on this road to notoriety. Basically, I take great pride in the fact that I'm a professional. You're in good hands. This is a job I've been training for my entire life.

    How did I get here, then?

    I'll start with a statement so shocking you might have to burn this book immediately:

    I was a kid who needed to talk. All the time.

    I mean, what's a beleaguered Mary Margaret Griffin to do when her mouthy little daughter won't shut the fuck up? Breathe a sigh of relief, for one thing, whenever I would bolt out the front door of our house on Home Avenue in suburban Oak Park, Illinois.

    But Mom was really of two minds about my exit. While part of her was thinking, Thank God, get her out of my earshot, the other part surely thought, Uh-oh. That's because I'd just go next door to the Bowens' house, where I first learned the power of juicy material.

    The Bowens were an older couple, and they lived with Mrs. Bowen's mother, Mrs. Tyres. The Bowens, Mrs. Tyres, and I had a mutual understanding. They would bribe me with Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies, and I'd freely spill our family secrets, all to my mom's horror, of course. She knew exactly what was going on because she could see it all through our kitchen window, which had a perfect view into the Bowens' formal dining room. Mom would be doing dishes, occasionally nursing a nice highball--boxed wine innovations hadn't arrived yet--then look up, see my mouth moving, and then see the Bowens shaking their heads.

    It was good stuff I was slinging, too. I'd reveal how one of my older siblings would have had a kegger the night before, and I'd run right over with the latest. "Yeah, Joyce had a party and one guy just fell asleep right on the lawn!" I'd excitedly report. "He was real drunk and everything! There was puke everywhere! My mom made me promise not to tell anybody! I don't think she meant you, Mrs. Tyres! Boy, these cookies sure are good!"

    From my perch at the Bowens' table, I could see my poor mom waving me over, mouthing "Get back here! Get back here!" If either Mrs. Bowen or Mrs. Tyres looked over, too, my mom could turn on her party face instantaneously and be all smiles: "Oh hell-o-o-o-o-o-o, Mrs. Bowen!"

    Everything was so prim and proper at the Bowens', with doilies on the table, and cookies neatly laid out on a plate. It was like high tea. At our packed house,...

Reviews-
  • Entertainment Weekly

    "With a foreword begging Oprah to be on her show and a chapter called ''Brooke Shields, Don't Read This,'' Kathy Griffin's autobiography, Official Book Club Selection, is everything you'd expect. What makes it a terrific read, though, is all the stuff you wouldn't expect: binge eating (her own, not Paula Abdul's); her conviction that her late brother was a child molester; and her unflinching accounts of her plastic surgery and her divorce. Whether or not you're a fan, you'll respect her tenacity, work ethic, and loyalty to her parents. And if you are a fan of Griffin's celeb-tastic stand-up, skip to chapter 8, which should be called ''Helen Hunt, Thomas Haden Church, and Ellen DeGeneres, Don't Read This.'' Everyone else, dive in. A--"

  • - NY POST "Funny, honest, and refreshingly unsentimental. Griffin embraces Michael Corleone's mantra with a vengeance: All business is personal."
  • Richmond Times Dispatch "You feel as if Griffin is in the room with you, excitedly gesturing as she recounts a story [and] that's the beauty of Official Book Club Selection--Griffin has been made a fool countless times in her career and her willingness to share those lumps, which, face it, you'll never read in some Oscar-winning A-lister's autobiography, endears her tremendously."
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    All copies of this title, including those transferred to portable devices and other media, must be deleted/destroyed at the end of the lending period.

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