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Carrie Pilby

Cover of Carrie Pilby

Carrie Pilby

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Teen Genius (and Hermit) Carrie Pilby's To-Do List:

1. List 10 things you love (and DO THEM!)

2. Join a club (and TALK TO PEOPLE!)

3. Go on a date (with someone you actually LIKE!)

4. Tell someone you care (your therapist DOESN'T COUNT!)

5. Celebrate New Year's (with OTHER PEOPLE!)

Seriously? Carrie would rather stay in bed than deal with the immoral, sex-obsessed hypocrites who seem to overrun her hometown, New York City. She's sick of trying to be like everybody else. She isn't! But when her own therapist gives her a five-point plan to change her social-outcast status, Carrie takes a hard look at herself--and agrees to try.

Suddenly the world doesn't seem so bad. But is prodigy Carrie really going to dumb things down just to fit in?


Teen Genius (and Hermit) Carrie Pilby's To-Do List:

1. List 10 things you love (and DO THEM!)

2. Join a club (and TALK TO PEOPLE!)

3. Go on a date (with someone you actually LIKE!)

4. Tell someone you care (your therapist DOESN'T COUNT!)

5. Celebrate New Year's (with OTHER PEOPLE!)

Seriously? Carrie would rather stay in bed than deal with the immoral, sex-obsessed hypocrites who seem to overrun her hometown, New York City. She's sick of trying to be like everybody else. She isn't! But when her own therapist gives her a five-point plan to change her social-outcast status, Carrie takes a hard look at herself--and agrees to try.

Suddenly the world doesn't seem so bad. But is prodigy Carrie really going to dumb things down just to fit in?
Available formats-
  • Kindle Book
  • OverDrive Read
  • EPUB eBook
  • PDF eBook
Languages:-
Copies-
  • Available:
    1
  • Library copies:
    1
Levels-
  • ATOS:
    4.5
  • Lexile:
  • Interest Level:
    UG
  • Reading Level:
    3

Recommended for you


Excerpts-
  • From the book



    Grocery stores always give me a bag when I don't need one, when I've bought just a pack of gum or a banana or some potato chips that are in a bag already, and then I feel guilty about their wasting the plastic, but the bag is on before I've noticed them reaching for it so I don't say anything. But in the video store, on the other hand, they always ask if I want a bag, and even though, theoretically, I should be able to carry my DVD without a bag, and the bag is another waste of plastic, I always need a bag at the video store because, for reasons that will soon be understood, I believe all DVDs should be sheathed.

    The camouflage doesn't work today. I'm only half a block out of the store when I see Ronald, the rice-haired Milquetoast who works at the coffee shop around the corner, approaching. "Hey, Carrie," he says, looking down at my DVD. "What'd you get?"

    Uh-oh. I have to give this speech again.

    "I can't tell you," I say, "and there's a reason I can't. Someday, I might want to rent something embarrassing, and I don't necessarily mean porn. It could be a movie that's considered too childish for my age or something violent or maybe Nazi propaganda--for research purposes, of course--and even though the movie I have in my hand is considered a classic, and nothing to be ashamed of, if I show it to you this time but next time I can't, then you'll know for sure that I'm hiding something next time. But if I never tell you what I've rented, it puts enough doubt in your mind that I'm hiding something, so I can feel free to rent porn or cartoons or fascist propaganda or whatever I want without fear of having to reveal what I've rented. The same goes for what I'm reading. I want to be able to pick a mindless novel, as well as Dostoyevsky And I also want to be able to choose something no one's heard of. Most of the time, people say, 'What are you reading?' and if I tell them the name of the book and it's not Moby Dick, they've never heard of it so I have to give an explanation, and if the book's any good it's not something I can explain in two seconds, so I'm stuck giving a twenty-five-page dissertation and by the time I'm done I have no time to finish reading. So books I read and movies I rent are off-limits for discussion. It's nothing personal."

    Ronald stands there blinking for a second, then leaves.

    My rules make perfect sense to me, but people find them strange. Still, I need them to survive. This world isn't one I understand completely, and it doesn't understand me completely, either. People think I'm odd for a nineteen-year-old girl--or woman, if you're technical--that I neither act excessively young nor excessively "girlish."

    In truth, I feel asexual a lot of the time, like a walking brain with glasses and long dark hair and a mouth in good working order. If we were to talk about sex as in sex, as opposed to gender--as everyone seems to want to these days--I would say that my mind's not on sex that much, and I was never boy-crazy when I was younger. Which makes me different from just about everyone. I did have crushes on two of my professors in college, one of which actually turned into something, but that's a story for later on. That whole saga only confused me in the end. So much of the world is sex-obsessed that it takes someone practically asexual to realize just how extreme and pervasive it is. It's the main motivator of people's activities, the pith of their jokes and the driving force behind their art, and if you don't have the same level of drive, you almost question whether you should exist. If it's sex that makes the world go around, should the world stop for those of us who are asexual?

    I graduated from...

About the Author-
  • Caren Lissner lives in Hoboken, N.J., directly across the river from midtown Manhattan. She's the editor-in-chief of a chain of eight weekly newspapers based in Hoboken and spends the rest of her time as a "chronic creative writer" of fiction and satire. She grew up in central Jersey and majored in English at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, where she loosed her bizarre sense of humor on the university community through an award-winning biweekly humor column in the Daily Pennsylvanian.

    After graduating in 1993, Lissner moved to North Jersey. As she began work as a reporter covering gritty political battles and festivals in Hoboken, she also continued her fiction and satirical writing, managing to place a few humorous essays in the New York Times and Philadelphia Inquirer. After working on many short stories, her first published one was the humorous "State of the Relationship Address" in Jane magazine in 1999.

    Around that time, Lissner began working on Carrie Pilby. The book has won raves for its observational humor and ability to keep the reader thinking.

    When she's not writing, Lissner cohosts Tuesday Night Trivia each week in Greenwich Village, where fellow nerds show up on teams and match wits to win bar tabs. She also enjoys driving around singing badly. She has run a writers' group in Hoboken that has met monthly since 1994.

Title Information+
  • Publisher
    Harlequin
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Digital Rights Information+
  • Copyright Protection (DRM) required by the Publisher may be applied to this title to limit or prohibit printing or copying. File sharing or redistribution is prohibited. Your rights to access this material expire at the end of the lending period. Please see Important Notice about Copyrighted Materials for terms applicable to this content.

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